and our stupid society

i usually despise cliche cutie-monsters like this. but the colours are nice.

 earlier in school today i was constantly getting this weird, cockroachy odor as though somebody's wearing a pair of pants unwashed for weeks. i had a suspicion that it was mine. however, now that i am home, i smelled my pants and i realize this is not it. i even had to get away from everyone so they won't hate me for that.

another reason to hide away from humanity was their absolute disapproval for how i look. Shin is rather unshaved with a seemingly two-month old facial hair (cheeks too) and my hair has grown quite thickly it's almost like a cap. the strange thing, contrary to everyone's "you seem to not have taken a bath" or "you need haircut" dumb comments, i feel great with this! not having to worry about dying airplanes landing in my forehead is rather refreshing. and, i am mentally more secured now. as though i am a bottle of coke and my hair is the cap that seals all the carbon (thoughts) in. so yeah, society, how about you fuck off with your cheap ideas of what 'handsome' is and let good ol' hermit Shin get by with himself? (armed with books and blemishes) hah.

 i realize today that i am actually nice, after all; when i see other people looking ugly (aka All The Time) i don't mention it at all; i make sure sometimes not to offend my friends with random thought-commentaries like that , meanwhile, when it's them looking at me, my, how insensitive and brutal humans could be! 

(i mean u, Erlyn. fuk u. you look like a Slovakian housewife) .