i really don't understand how or why the illustrations that most satisfy me are the ones i do randomly on dirty, unserious sheets of paper. i did this one at the back of a drawing i did some time ago. and it upsets me how, like other blunders, i can never do the same thing again. i am also now planning to do a how-do-i-paint video, which really kills myself esteem but i think it would be a nice gesture to my very motivative friend. who tells me i should.