and "oh, what am i going to do with my life next?"

i am thinking of whether to donate some of my books to my friends or keep them for my future children because i want more space in my shelf to turn into a my very own shrine. it seems like a good idea (the shrine) but i am much doubtful about letting go of them (books).
what do you think?
-- meanwhile, here is something photographed yesterday.
that girl on my wall who often sees me masturbate but never judges me or says "ew" or whatever. i love u.

also i am going to go to school tomorrow to get a grade for my thesis defense and finally have a rest from all these academic shit. (but it is NOT over yet!)


and film stills

this Saturday i decided to do a project i have wanted to do for a while now; FILM STILLS! of course making a movie would be better, but i don't have my own camera and people and other supplies to help me out (this laptop am using doesn't even have Movie-maker *sobs*). so yeah. this is the next best thing, i guess. special thanks to my nine-year-old nephew for taking some of these photographs! and to Rookiemag for inspiring me as always.

this imaginary movie i have in mind is called The Very Strange & Remarkable. the concept of what the title talks about is a bit vague and flexible, so there is no actual specific thing. this film  is about the figuratively "lifeless" life of the protagonist whose name is Stephen Arcs. he basically has nothing except books and an unknown camera that follows him everywhere. there will be snippets in the film in which he is interviewed, talking about this apparent "Strange & Remarkable", whatever that is.

and these are some of the movie soundtracks;


and cleurmiaticals

we finally had our thesis' final defense and it went out all nicely enough. i took photographs with Sayuri and here are those. i directed/conceptualized this. (note: there are some inserted photographs. i'm pretty sure you can tell which is which)
Natalia Kills - Controversy
Levitaing girl - yowayowacam.com
Natalia Kills - Controversy
and~ so i know i have posted this one before (anthem of my christmas, basically) but it is too accurate to not include;

also, i am not posting drawings in this blog anymore! please proceed to my tumblr if that's what you're looking for! :)


and the heat

i really thought i will not need to update this journal for a long time, but i was wrong on that.
i am very much content with rarely saying anything dedicated to the world besides my secret own but the thing is, there are plenty of images from the internet that i can not print and have tangibly and i think they play a significant role to my life aesthetically and visually and in metaphysical paradigms, so i want to post that kind of stuff here.
this is a weird thing to say, but yeah, even though the heat is violent and i am extremely uncomfortable this summer and i don't do anything particularly new/interesting, i am enjoying it, somehow! *o* i don't understand why, maybe the films i watch do have some magic effect on me? that's the only reason i can make out from this dreamy, optimistic mind setting i currently possess.
it is all very difficult to explain.
i have some wicked unexplainable energy and i want to have sex, play soccer, etc.

anyway, here are pictures;
i took this one. from somewhere close to home.
my mind has been thinking a lot particularly about sex
Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries
from The Basketball Diaries
from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (i made this GIF)
Moonrise Kingdom. hell yeah. anthem of my summer.
Moonrise Kingdom
G-dragon in Crayon MV

Tavi Gevinson
Tavi Gevinson
Moonrise Kingdom. i told you. there is no getting over this film.