Whatsup, lambs of god? :)
i just got home right now from LB because i wanted to buy secondhand shirts from the thrift store, and that i did. my feet are still wet from the infantile flood i crawled into in the gasoline station, looking for a ride home.
i am very disappointed because the ones i really liked are too small for me. most of the shirts there were like, with jersey numbers on the back, and the school font or whatever in the front. basically the type elementary school kids wear there in America after school, for their, like, varsity extracurricular sports shit. i am not very sure, but it's probably something like that. i just really want to wear clothing with stories in it i mean i can almost feel the personalities of the boys (or girls too?) who owned those particular treasures before. besides, i've never been sportsy, so i think having such inappropriate clothing is sublimely great indeed. i think it's cool! and it will make me feel younger and adorable. ahaha.
|this is the one i got! :) i removed my pimples in this pic basically by brightening the photo to about 250 °C|
|what do you think?|
|i don't exactly promote laziness as something cute or clever, but i found this one very interesting. i didn't get to buy it too. too small. i am not exactly interested to have my nipples embossed when wearing a shirt.|
there's quite a disease among us in the classroom; me and my peers; feeling old and pressured, being a student-teacher and all. some are becoming Empire Ants already, only living for matters of consequences and such.. trying to follow a strict pre-programmed schedule of how their live should go.and i would hate to be that way too. i don't want to lose who originally Shin is. i don't want to live everyday only struggling to make ends meet and not feel alive anymore. guh. i am not even after people to think i am a mature, firm-principled guy because that is not me. even to the high school students i handle, i try to still exhale this aura of being "one-of-them", but still "above" them, cause i am smarter anyways.
if you don't get this academic state we are going through, it goes like this; we are in Senior year now, for the first semester, (june to October), we shall be doing class observations and management (includes actual TEACHING ahhh~ <3) every morning for three hours each. some of them, especially the not-very-confident ones, try to replace their lack of knowledge with fake strictness and stuff. i think that's an intelligent approach, especially if the pupils are evil (they could really be EVIL, tbh. ask anyone.) but i believe that learning is easier and more acquire-able everyone is comfortable and just having fun. no need to be uptight, at least in my case. i am straightforward and nonchalantly hostile already. so there's no need for further shits. we are also required to finish our thesis immediately and add ridiculousy senseless projects to all that hardhip and you have an idea how are lives are now like. but not me. not much. i am idle as god here.
|ha ha. i have no idea why i inserted this here. i think this photo is incredibly cute and erotic. i made a 12" x 18: painting based on this. haha. look forward to that in my tumblr!|
i want to be the kind of teacher who is just "real" to students but still maintaining professionalism, and kindness, and personality. as far as i am concerned with how i want to be to kids, i will just be the teacher i always wanted to have, and avoid being all the professors i hated. and be the kind of person students wouldn't mind seeing on a daily basis.
i co-teach at a public high school a biking distance away from home (still, i don't bike. still weighing the conveniences and inconveniences of doing so) and i swear the students there are epic. that school, like, generally, is the last resort of all teenagers here in Bay, Laguna, most of those who enroll there are the ones who are poor and literally had "no other choice", so yeah. expect boys bringing drugs (and there was a dead condom on the bathroom floor!) (which i almost brought home to paste in my journal! ahahaha jk) and girls getting pregnant, with each class section having two big-bellied representatives. it's also so funny because there are many girls who has sort of the same face!
it looks kinda like this, please excuse my very wonderful MS Paint illustration. i am obviously the next Picasso.
|just imagine a ponytail there on the back and skin colour which suggest too much time outside last summer.|
but yeah, thing is, contrary to popular belief, the kids are ok in class. even the bad boys, i was definitely avoiding having this "better-than-you" approach to them because that may lead to me going back home with a broken leg, and hopefully they are eager to hear more from me as their teacher.
so far i am having fun with all this seemingly a game of teacher-role-playing. my methods are not proven to be effective yet. some may disagree with it but until results come up, i'm just gonna continue being an absolute "kind bishou sensei" to the students.
hope they get to learn something. i'll be along them (three classes, same subject) until September.
meanwhile, here is the current state of my worktable, which i never work on because i do everything in my bed. ahaha.
i think i have to go for now.
goobye and thank you for reading this :) you don't rlly ever have to! ha ha.