and thrift store + teaching strategies

Whatsup, lambs of god? :)

i just got home right now from LB because i wanted to buy secondhand shirts from the thrift store, and that i did. my feet are still wet from the infantile flood i crawled into in the gasoline station, looking for a ride home.
i am very disappointed because the ones i really liked are too small for me. most of the shirts there were like, with jersey numbers on the back, and the school font or whatever in the front. basically the type elementary school kids wear there in America after school, for their, like, varsity extracurricular sports shit. i am not very sure, but it's probably something like that. i just really want to wear clothing with stories in it i mean i can almost feel the personalities of the boys (or girls too?) who owned those particular treasures before. besides, i've never been sportsy, so i think having such inappropriate clothing is sublimely great indeed. i think it's cool! and it will make me feel younger and adorable. ahaha.
i didn't buy this one. although last week, when i first visited that store and cried because i have no money, this was the one i really wanted to get. today i thought it was too big for me, so i didn't take it. PS please don't tell me now that this actually fits me well because i am going to regret my decisions again :'(
this is the one i got! :) i removed my pimples in this pic basically by brightening the photo to about 250 °C
what do you think?
i don't exactly promote laziness as something cute or clever, but i found this one very interesting. i didn't get to buy it too. too small. i am not exactly interested to have my nipples embossed when wearing a shirt.
there's quite a disease among us in the classroom; me and my peers; feeling old and pressured, being a student-teacher and all. some are becoming Empire Ants already, only living for matters of consequences and such.. trying to follow a strict pre-programmed schedule of how their live should go.and i would hate to be that way too.  i don't want to lose who originally Shin is. i don't want to live everyday only struggling to make ends meet and not feel alive anymore. guh. i am not even after people to think i am a mature, firm-principled guy because that is not me. even to the high school students i handle, i try to still exhale this aura of being "one-of-them", but still "above" them, cause i am smarter anyways. 
if you don't get this academic state we are going through, it goes like this; we are in Senior year now, for the first semester, (june to October), we shall be doing class observations and management (includes actual TEACHING ahhh~ <3) every morning for three hours each. some of them, especially the not-very-confident ones, try to replace their lack of knowledge with fake strictness and stuff. i think that's an intelligent approach, especially if the pupils are evil (they could really be EVIL, tbh. ask anyone.) but i believe that learning is easier and more acquire-able everyone is comfortable and just having fun. no need to be uptight, at least in my case. i am straightforward and nonchalantly hostile already. so there's no need for further shits. we are also required to finish our thesis immediately and add ridiculousy senseless projects to all that hardhip and you have an idea how are lives are now like. but not me. not much. i am idle as god here.
ha ha. i have no idea why i inserted this here. i think this photo is incredibly cute and erotic. i made a 12" x 18: painting based on this. haha. look forward to that in my tumblr!
i want to be the kind of teacher who is just "real" to students but still maintaining professionalism, and kindness, and personality. as far as i am concerned with how i want to be to kids, i will just be the teacher i always wanted to have, and avoid being all the professors i hated. and be the kind of person students wouldn't mind seeing on a daily basis.
i co-teach at a public high school a biking distance away from home (still, i don't bike. still weighing the conveniences and inconveniences of doing so) and i swear the students there are epic. that school, like, generally, is the last resort of all teenagers here in Bay, Laguna, most of those who enroll there are the ones who are poor and literally had "no other choice", so yeah. expect boys bringing drugs (and there was a dead condom on the bathroom floor!) (which i almost brought home to paste in my journal! ahahaha jk) and girls getting pregnant, with each class section having two big-bellied representatives. it's also so funny because there are many girls who has sort of the same face!
it looks kinda like this, please excuse my very wonderful MS Paint illustration. i am obviously the next Picasso.
just imagine a ponytail there on the back and skin colour which suggest too much time outside last summer.
but yeah, thing is, contrary to popular belief, the kids are ok in class. even the bad boys, i was definitely avoiding having this "better-than-you" approach to them because that may lead to me going back home with a broken leg, and hopefully they are eager to hear more from me as their teacher.
so far i am having fun with all this seemingly a game of teacher-role-playing. my methods are not proven to be effective yet. some may disagree with it but until results come up, i'm just gonna continue being an absolute "kind bishou sensei" to the students. 
hope they get to learn something. i'll be along them (three classes, same subject) until September.
meanwhile, here is the current state of my worktable, which i never work on because i do everything in my bed. ahaha.
semi-colour-coordinated chaos.
i think i have to go for now. 
goobye and thank you for reading this :) you don't rlly ever have to! ha ha.


and why any person should never be blamed for bad things done to him/her

i just want to tell about something i noticed today. it's quite horrible, so you may not want to proceed reading any further.
today the teacher discussed Republic Acts (or laws, i think. is that a synonym for it?) regarding sexual harassments and the sexual abuses, offenses, etc that occur between teachers and students. i learned there that even mere, reckless touching (a pat, if you may.) or a one-second glance with semi-narrowed  (misty)eyes if reported may lead to exaggerated  accusations against a teacher. but i am not complaining about that. i completely understand the point of it.
the lecture was followed by an activity in which we would have to make a slogan/poster to promote fight against sexual abuse or at least warn people not to do it.
i am very much annoyed with the narrow moral  perspective most of my classmates had given upon the matter.
 most of them (being young women themselves) made signs and shits telling a woman not to wear mini-skirts, avoid being/looking slutty, telling them to behave nicely, etcetera. and i think that's bullshit.
i can't believe these people (ESPECIALLY THESE WOMEN. ACTUAL WOMEN WHO ALSO ARE LIKELY TO BE VICTIMIZED SEXUALLY) attack on women's behavior regarding the disgusting actions of harassment and such. i mean why is it the fault of women that they could be mistreated/disrespected? shouldn't it be sexist perverted men who should be preached about this? doesn't everyone have the right to be respected, regardless of what they wear, do, and act?
in other words, this;
photo source
and this
this is not me, btw.
photo source.
a cruel, bastardly act committed to a woman is never be a woman's fault. if she didn't invite a lewd action verbally, then she probably doesn't want it and should never be accused of otherwise. i can't believe people at this time and age still see things that way.
it's all too fucking absurd.
i am not exactly what one would call a "feminist" (i am not even sure if any man could ever considered be "feminist") but thing is,  i know what's more proper and humanly. people should stop having these rules about what a man should be or what a woman should be because in the end, people are people regardless of whatever and being harmful to others should be avoided, as much as possible.


and lavenders~

hello, fans of the church! :) how are you all doing?
i really have put off blogging these past weeks, no? i actually find it very funny because the ultimate motivation in writing this entry was a compliment said to me a while ago. it's kind of stupid to be overly lazy about something for a period of time and only get excited with it again because of praises from others. that's the same case on my painting, too. i rarely do it anymore, tbh. i am not saying that i am compliment-hungry (like the people who post rather uninteresting Work-in-progress "artsy" shots everyday in Facebook. like ugh, why be so conceited? and fake-humble?) or whatever .it's more because of trying to focus on reading and writing these past few days. and concentrating a ~small~ fraction of my mind for school, too.

new painting inspired by feelings about what's written below! :) readreadread
well, how can i summarize this past week and the one before that?
but it's something, definitely. like yesterday, my angsty fag classmate got very mad at me because of some stupid remark i said, which was not even addressed to him (because i never talked to him anyways and doesn't give a shit about his whole existence)! he happened to take it by heart, or probably not very, too. all i know is that he hated me right from the first time we met and although there were rare times when we were "friends" ("friendship" included sending LPs of mainstream pop singers to each other), he just really hates me. that is the bottomline of it. i was also mad at him for being such an  unreasonably furious faggot and was on the verge of punching the hater out of him but i didn't want to make a scene, and i actually want to graduate and not get expelled because of some insecure shithead, so yeah. i am a peacemaker anyways. i just hope he's totally over it by Monday because i really wouldn't mind taking some action to make him calm down. i am not afraid of anyone. to be honest. and, i genuinely think there'd really be this point in which we would just have to fight to finally let go of whatever. it would be good for both of us, getting wounds and all. (but i don't want to touch him, now that i think of it. what a gross person. UGH.) he's very lucky that i didn't hit him, if you want to know the truth. it probably isn't evident but i am actually a good fighter.anyways,  this whole paragraph is bullshit.

in other news, i am now wearing the lavender uniform which is for Senior students! i only have one as of now and mum kindly laundries it every night and i have to kindly smile at people who mockingly call me "Professor" although it's not even a witty thing to say anymore. like, whatever. just leave me alone already.
i had to put a 2D mask on my classmates' faces because i don't think they want to be seen in my blog anyways.
and then i removed the masks to unveil Claud's pretty face and Bona's comedic face lol jk Bona is a funny closet-slut, tbh.
so um what do you think of me in this uniform? do you think young-achiever beau Professor Shin Oderschvank is worth the love of  teen, post-pubescent talcum-scented darling high school gurls now? <3 <3 <3 ayayay.
well not to brag or anything, but the Junior college class i have handled now call me their "favourite" and like me as their teacher. because the whole lecture-time becomes a little free-for-all storytime whatsoever. however, one student LOATHED me like fuck, because, i am "offensive" at some point (that point = always) and it actually made me feel bad last weekend. but i realize now it's still ok. at least it isn't me hating on myself like usual. what an improvement!

this is the book i am reading lately. biography of Sylvia Plath, it is the first time i used  pencil to underline parts i find interesting,  and add my own footnotes. some people would go against that but idk, i feel like an intelligent comprehensive reader, writing little notes! *u*
here's how i look like tonight. loljk. that's Rod Serling. creator and main author, narrator, sexy introductor of The Twilight Zone, more known to me as the best TV show ever.
there have been many seasons (and terrible post-70s remakes) but the original episodes can be found on vimeo. i wish i could tell what's it about but it's all just crazy and psycho-horrific and there's a different theme/plot in each episode, with its own respective heartbreaking twists in the end. some of my favourites are;
Eye of the Beholder
Monsters are Due on Maple Street
Walking Distance
the pilot episode:: Where Is Everybody
basically Rod Serling is my new style icon in terms of creativity in writing and overall sex appeal.
random filler. just if you're wondering if i still draw! :D
back to a school news, there are some koreans sent to our school for an English-language-learning course, we as the English majors have met them and i got to be friends with some. especially a very pretty 24-year-old! who looks twelve! who looks even cuter when smiling! ohmygod i'm blushing! i will write about her that stuff, when we get to have a picture together.

for now, that's all.

PS it's the birthday of someone special.