and beautiful disappointments

I am disappointed with myself.

I am VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED.
I swear, when I went to the mall today my intention was pure; to
see if they have Berkeley watercolour pads already and buy, if there
is. And then, I randomly checked out the Buy 1 Take 1 books section
(I was even having a headache!) and saw A Clockwork Orange by
Anthony Burgess. Since I didn't get what I wanted, I said:
"hmm..this is good consolation enough." so did buy it. Along with a
children's novel called Me And My Little Brain. And then i went
downstairs of the mall and checked out the pre-loved bookstore
there and you know what I saw? That silly-ly awesome Zombies VS
Unicorns anthology. It was quite cheap, with regards to the new
copy price, but for my prematurely developed purse, it was
expensive.. . . But still.. . . Man, it was the Zombies VS fucking
Unicorns and you know what, I never felt more cornered by some
evil succubus rapist my entire life. "If I buy this", said my panicking mind. My allowance

(that i just got) shall be divided to three quarters. With only one
quarter left.
So what did I do?
.
.
.
I still bought it.
Ohmygod mum i'm sorry i know how you were proud of your
bookworm son back then and now you just frown upon seeing my
shelves. I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry.
And i'm sorry to myself too.
I'll probably eat only those sidewalk-hamburgers now and lots and
lots of air.
I am VERY disappointed myself. Books just really have this 'thing' for
me.
After all, i think they quite literally saved my life since i was a bit
suicidal then (see: all tumblr posts) and then i had a neat pile of to-
read books, which helps me keep on living. Sigh.
Weak is the Shin.
.
I am very very disappointed with myself.

.
These books better be good.
.
.
.
PS; and i am very very disappointed with myself.
PPS; do you think i need a psychiatrist already?

and an unreliable "bookshelf tour"

hi, sexy.

Tiny Monsters + Life of Pictures: The Beatles (monochrome picture books), Red Book by David Shrigley, Amazing Remarkable Monsieur Leotard, random japanese graphic novels, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, six titles from Harlequin's vintage boxed set (see uppest right side of first photo) , Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, to-read books.

most of my favourites are in this part; (in no particular order:) Kikomachine Komix, Dance On My Grave, Vanishing Moon, Exit A, Memoirs of a Geisha, Nocturnes

above: japanese (in language) manga-magazines, HEAT (japanese, too), box. and then next row: some box and old diaries. and then lowest part; a couple of Goosebumps and others.

old telephone, pocket-sized books including Jurrasic Park duo, Bridget Jones, Choose Your Own Adventure-s, and below it is the LOTR trilogy and the good books from my sister's shelf; The Notebook, Bridges of Madison County, etc.

~*THAT's ALL, FOLKS*~
PS most of these are secondhands. aka Pre-Loved. whatevs.

and the workplace

With the replacement of bed to another, the corner where my study table lay has moved, too. (I realize "study table" is not a good term since I never study in it, so Work Table, it is.)

 For that matter since I already had my father's good-camera-ed mobile in hands, I kindly (?) took photos of my books too. This shelf is inconvenient, as you can see above.But it's okay, what's important is that my little babies (whose mum is allowance, long book-hopping walks, and mortal sins) have a home, and a neat dust-collecting one, at that. I have a story for almost every book i get. I just like talking about them cheap-prized possessions. BUT according to my online friend airiz, "There are no secondhand books, only pre-loved ones" or something like that.

click to enlarge.source://
Anyways, now we can all just sit down (in my case, literally) and wait for good ideas (and more books?) to come. Sigh.

I want ice cream right now.

Anyway, for your favourite segment of the Tonight With Good Ol' Pathetic Shin Show, iiiiiiiiiiit's 

~★CAMWHORE DADDY TIME!★~

well i just realized that the position of the small daylight is effective for both reading and drawing and. . . . . Taking pictures.

to my future daughters, i am sorry to have you little darlings see this. I, your daddy, was a young man once too, tempted to find at least one particular soul over the internet (you know Internet right? It's who to blame for every generation's fucked-up-ness since ours) who might like me for this (see photo). I know i am not the best daddy to you girls, but let me show you my love again tonight. While you're asleep. Heehee. Jk. I love you girls a lot. (PS tell thy mum to use the same cologne you kids do.)

Paul McCartney is one god who never looks awful in any photo. In my Beatles Coffee Table Book, most of the stolen shots of him has his mouth caught as though in midsentence. You have no idea how much I ache to know what witticisms his glorious mouth is saying. (I will be more careful with the adjectives I use, from now on.)

when I come across a classmate or friend in school or mall, chances are, I give them the peace sign instead of a polite nod or smile. Idk. You may think (referring to photo above) that it's me cosplaying a member of KISS without make-up, but to be honest, this song *http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLgYAHHkPFs* plays in my mind when doing the gesture displayed above. Lesson: BE NOT JUDGMENTAL.

-nerd, they said.
-don't unfollow me on twitter, they said.

and October reads

these are the books i have read last month. i had lots of free time and sorrow in October, for some reason. and without my lovely pile of to-read and currently reading books i think i would have dies. seriously. books for me are not just for entertainment value but also an instrument of distracting myself from how painful living is. it's like oxygen for me.

Valley Of The Dolls  -  Jacqueline Susann ★★★★★

A Child Called 'It'  -  Dave Pelzer★★

Life Of Pi  -  Yann Martel ★★★★

Referred Pain  -  Lynne Sharon Schwartz ★★★

Pardon My Body  -  Dale Bogard ★

Virgin With Butterflies  - Tom Powers ★★★★★

My Girlfriend Comes To The City And Beats Me Up  -  Stephen Elliot

Red Book  -  David Shrigley 

i forgot to take a picture of this one. which is weird since it's actually my most favourite. it is hilarious and it can really touch the reader (or in my case, at least). Dance On My Grave  -  Aidan Chambers . please try to read this one ♥ i give this FIVE  awesome stars

also forgot to snap on my copy of The War Of The Worlds by H.G.Wells.. such a bad book from an intelligent author. two sleepy stars i what i lay for thee.

 and then here are the books i am currently reading. there's more, actually, but i am very much concentrated to Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez at the moment. it's very fantastic. and then Life In Pictures: The Beatles is something i open up and read almost everyday. so yeah. i have a good pile more of titles to read. and craving to visit a bookstore again. sigh. i am hopeless.

PS i originally decided to write a three-sentence review of each, but got lazy. so here's a link to my Goodreads account, if you're interested. i know you're not. what ever.