and Isaac

Isaac Sings The Body Electric

i really don't understand how or why the illustrations that most satisfy me are the ones i do randomly on dirty, unserious sheets of paper. i did this one at the back of a drawing i did some time ago. and it upsets me how, like other blunders, i can never do the same thing again. i am also now planning to do a how-do-i-paint video, which really kills myself esteem but i think it would be a nice gesture to my very motivative friend. who tells me i should.

Isaac Lost In Hong Kong

and girl treatment

i want to share something i got to paint yesterday evening.

there's this thing Allison Harvard said in an interview about painting:
 I enjoy using watercolor and oil. I like to treat different parts of the face with a different kind of care. It always depends.
so i tried doing that. a "treatment". and the result is that photograph i took above. or what's in it, i mean. the body is very different from the face (try covering the top or the bottom part, to see what i try to say) but it's okay. i really like this one because, as i usually do, i put in different regions of my emotion-sphere in its anatomy. and she has this "classic" aura in her. i will try to avoid using pens now. and, the most remarkable part about what we have here is, *tada-dadaaa* i didn't use watercolour. only oil pastel. same as any art material out there in the planet, i have no idea how to properly use it, so i worked my butt off to invent my own methods. ha ha. trust no Youtube tutorial.
in other news, i am in big trouble. as usual i'd just say the initial situation and nothing else.
but yeah.
i am in big trouble.
nothing that may cause a fuss among others but something that will be very destructive to me. all the beautiful things are evil, i'm afraid. and inevitable.  i am not sure what to do anymore. i hope school comes back well and keep me busy so i do not have to lounge around, worrying and doing disasters.
please tell me what you think of that woman i have drawn above. your suggestions, etc.

i have this feeling i saw her before. . . oh well. her face is a bit common.

this is really very beautiful.

and sadness without end

one of the loneliest sequence of events that may occur in our lives as humans is when you get to be with the person you love most dearly, and you are happy together. and then you wake up and realize it was all just a dream.
this is reality; me alone. forever, probably. far away and ignored by my sweet, inky darling.
i have dreamed of my charming butterfly person again. it was really fun and i am very much undecided whether to write it here or not. maybe not. since i am a bit lazy and totally unwilling this evening.
50% percent of this day have been spent in bed.
and while i do not have anything else to say, let me just put in another drawing  forgot to insert in my entry last night.

and watercolour blood.

photo dump. wave 2.

that second one makes me cry.

i have been absolutely inspired by a tumblr dedicated to Rei Kawakubo. she's a nymph and we should all bow down to her.

and the theme song for the new year is this:

and balloons (Why-I-Don't-Have-A-Girlfriend-Yet-series pt.4)

photo-dump time.

 goddammit. balloons are so much fun.

i know, i just make fun of myself often, but nights are really getting lonely. i wish i have somebody who can just talk to me any time of the day and will really listen and share things or whatev. life is a very, very sad thing.

i dreamed of my special secret love twice in one sleep!

it is epic. i am very happy 'cause, although we have never been together for real, and my darling rarely replies to my messages, at least in another dimension that only exists in my subconscious mind, we can hold hands and lie in bed together.

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i decided to use my other black sketchpad as an art/doodle diary for 2013. i am not sure how long will it last. it has more than two pages filled although only one and a half day of the year has passed. i wish i can get more organized but it really is tough for me. i want to die.

and inspirational photographs

wherein i give myself reasons to look forward to school. i will not print this unless i go there. since it is very much cheaper to have it. it is rather exciting to have a tangible moodboard and i have ush-pins too. so yeah.

photos are: (Top L-R: Paul McCartney, Devon Aoki, Devon Aoki, something from tumblr. Bottom: Lana Del Rey, Of Monsters and Men, Akira Horikawa, Allison Harvard. the 2 in the middle: from tumblr, Twiggy)

and very innovative fashion

photos were taken during our first thesis defense.

i'd like to believe nobody has ever done this kind of thing. or were there other firsts? it does not matter. i love this.

so sorry for friend Erlyn whose appearance in these images are basically all about her disappearance.

HAPPY 2013, EVERYONE